You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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