Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
