i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
