oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
