you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
