Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
