Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
BRING THE BAGELS
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
