To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sober January is a disaster.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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