In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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