I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
