I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
