I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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