Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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