we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
