brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
