Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
