I forgot how hot balto sounded
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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