I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
