OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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