The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
