One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
