Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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