I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
