I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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