Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
