Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
