Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
