Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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