Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
