She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
