U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
