..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
