Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
ttyl tear gas
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
