Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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