Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
