we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
