Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
