you're like a bully in the Christmas story
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
