Having a random hookup so left but love u
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
