Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
