Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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