Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's shark week go big or go home
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
