ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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