i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
