I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
