we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
