I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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