my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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