"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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