you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
